Selasa, 28 September 2010

[U206.Ebook] Ebook The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, by Al-Anon

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The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, by Al-Anon

Every aspect of a relationship takes on the nature of a dilemma when one or both partners are alcoholic. Here, the relatives and friends of alcoholics openly and honestly talk about their marriages and dealing with problems primarily involving sex, communication, maturity, feelings, personalities, security, and independence. Together, these Al-Anon members encourage the reader to "let the understanding, love, and peace of the [Al-Anon] program grow in you one day at a time."

  • Sales Rank: #430014 in Books
  • Published on: 1980
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 100 pages

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This book is often referenced in Al-Anon material. It is worth having in my library.

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Senin, 27 September 2010

[Z846.Ebook] Ebook Download To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, by Daniel H. Pink

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To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, by Daniel H. Pink

From the bestselling author of Drive and A Whole New Mind comes a surprising--and surprisingly useful--new book that explores the power of selling in our lives.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, one in nine Americans works in sales. Every day more than fifteen million people earn their keep by persuading someone else to make a purchase.

But dig deeper and a startling truth emerges: Yes, one in nine Americans works in sales. But so do the other eight.

Whether we’re employees pitching colleagues on a new idea, entrepreneurs enticing funders to invest, or parents and teachers cajoling children to study, we spend our days trying to move others. Like it or not, we’re all in sales now.

To Sell Is Human offers a fresh look at the art and science of selling. As he did in Drive and A Whole New Mind, Daniel H. Pink draws on a rich trove of social science for his counterintuitive insights. He reveals the new ABCs of moving others (it's no longer "Always Be Closing"), explains why extraverts don't make the best salespeople, and shows how giving people an "off-ramp" for their actions can matter more than actually changing their minds.

Along the way, Pink describes the six successors to the elevator pitch, the three rules for understanding another's perspective, the five frames that can make your message clearer and more persuasive, and much more. The result is a perceptive and practical book--one that will change how you see the world and transform what you do at work, at school, and at home.

  • Sales Rank: #616442 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Penguin Audio
  • Published on: 2012-12-31
  • Released on: 2012-12-31
  • Formats: Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 5
  • Dimensions: 5.76" h x .82" w x 5.22" l, .30 pounds
  • Running time: 360 minutes
  • Binding: Audio CD
  • 5 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

Review
"Full of aha! moments . . . timely, original, throughly engaging, deeply humane."
—strategy + business

“A fresh look at the art and science of sales using a mix of social science, survey research and stories.”
—Dan Schawbel, Forbes.com

"Artfully blend(s) anecdotes, insights, and studies from the social sciences into a frothy blend of utility and entertainment."
—Bloomberg 

"Excellent…radical, surprising, and undeniably true."
—Harvard Business Review Blog

“Pink has penned a modern day How to Win Friends and Influence People... To Sell Is Human is chock full of stories, social science, and surprises…All leaders—at least those who want to ‘move’ people—should own this book.”
—Training and Development magazine

"Vastly entertaining and informative."
—Phil Johnson, Forbes.com

"Pink one of our smartest thinkers about the interaction of work, psychology and society."
—Worth

"A roadmap to help the rest of us guide our own pitches."
—Chicago Tribune

“Like discovering your favorite professor in a box…packed with information, reasons to care about his message, how and why to execute his suggestions, and it's all accentuated with meaningful examples… this book deserves a good, long look.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"An engaging blend of interviews, research and observations by [this] incisive author"
—The Globe and Mail

 

About the Author
Daniel H Pink is the author of four books, including the long-running New York Times bestsellers A Whole New Mind and Drive. His books have been translated into thirty-three languages and have sold more than a million copies in the United States alone. Pink lives with his family in Washington, D.C.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

About a year ago, in a moment of procrastination masquerading as an act of reflection, I decided to examine how I spend my time. I opened my laptop, clicked on the carefully synched, color-coded calendar, and attempted to reconstruct what I’d actually done over the previous two weeks. I cataloged the meetings attended, trips made, meals eaten, and conference calls endured. I tried to list everything I’d read and watched as well as all the face-to-face conversations I’d had with family, friends, and colleagues. Then I inspected two weeks of digital entrails—772 sent e-mails, four blog posts, eighty-six tweets, about a dozen text messages.

When I stepped back to assess this welter of information—a pointillist portrait of what I do and therefore, in some sense, who I am—the picture that stared back was a surprise: I am a salesman.

I don’t sell minivans in a car dealership or bound from office to office pressing cholesterol drugs on physicians. But leave aside sleep, exercise, and hygiene, and it turns out that I spend a significant portion of my days trying to coax others to part with resources. Sure, sometimes I’m trying to tempt people to purchase books I’ve written. But most of what I do doesn’t directly make a cash register ring. In that two-week period, I worked to convince a magazine editor to abandon a silly story idea, a prospective business partner to join forces, an organization where I volunteer to shift strategies, even an airline gate agent to switch me from a window seat to an aisle. Indeed, the vast majority of time I’m seeking resources other than money. Can I get strangers to read an article, an old friend to help me solve a problem, or my nine-year-old son to take a shower after baseball practice?

You’re probably not much different. Dig beneath the sprouts of your own calendar entries and examine their roots, and I suspect you’ll discover something similar. Some of you, no doubt, are selling in the literal sense—convincing existing customers and fresh prospects to buy casualty insurance or consulting services or homemade pies at a farmers’ market. But all of you are likely spending more time than you realize selling in a broader sense—pitching colleagues, persuading funders, cajoling kids. Like it or not, we’re all in sales now.

And most people, upon hearing this, don’t like it much at all.

Sales? Blecch. To the smart set, sales is an endeavor that requires little intellectual throw weight—a task for slick glad-handers who skate through life on a shoeshine and a smile. To others it’s the province of dodgy characters doing slippery things—a realm where trickery and deceit get the speaking parts while honesty and fairness watch mutely from the rafters. Still others view it as the white-collar equivalent of cleaning toilets—necessary perhaps, but unpleasant and even a bit unclean.

I’m convinced we’ve gotten it wrong.

This is a book about sales. But it is unlike any book about sales you have read (or ignored) before. That’s because selling in all its dimensions—whether pushing Buicks on a car lot or pitching ideas in a meeting—has changed more in the last ten years than it did over the previous hundred. Most of what we think we understand about selling is constructed atop a foundation of assumptions that has crumbled.

In Part One of this book, I lay out the arguments for a broad rethinking of sales as we know it. In Chapter 1, I show that the obituaries declaring the death of the salesman in today’s digital world are woefully mistaken. In the United States alone, some 1 in 9 workers still earns a living trying to get others to make a purchase. They may have traded sample cases for smartphones and are offering experiences instead of encyclopedias, but they still work in traditional sales.

More startling, though, is what’s happened to the other 8 in 9. They’re in sales, too. They’re not stalking customers in a furniture showroom, but they—make that we—are engaged in what I call “non-sales selling.” We’re persuading, convincing, and influencing others to give up something they’ve got in exchange for what we’ve got. As you’ll see in the findings of a first-of-its-kind analysis of people’s activities at work, we’re devoting upward of 40 percent of our time on the job to moving others. And we consider it critical to our professional success.

Chapter 2 explores how so many of us ended up in the moving business. The keys to understanding this workplace transformation: Entrepreneurship, Elasticity, and Ed-Med. First, Entrepreneurship. The very technologies that were supposed to obliterate salespeople have lowered the barriers to entry for small entrepreneurs and turned more of us into sellers. Second, Elasticity. Whether we work for ourselves or for a large organization, instead of doing only one thing, most of us are finding that our skills on the job must now stretch across boundaries. And as they stretch, they almost always encompass some traditional sales and a lot of non-sales selling. Finally, Ed-Med. The fastest-growing industries around the world are educational services and health care—a sector I call “Ed-Med.” Jobs in these areas are all about moving people.

If you buy these arguments, or if you’re willing just to rent them for a few more pages, the conclusion might not sit well. Selling doesn’t exactly have a stellar reputation. Think of all the movies, plays, and television programs that depict salespeople as one part greedy conniver, another part lunkheaded loser. In Chapter 3, I take on these beliefs—in particular, the notion that sales is largely about deception and hoodwinkery. I’ll show how the balance of power has shifted—and how we’ve moved from a world of caveat emptor, buyer beware, to one of caveat venditor, seller beware—where honesty, fairness, and transparency are often the only viable path.

That leads to Part Two, where I cull research from the frontiers of social science to reveal the three qualities that are now most valuable in moving others. One adage of the sales trade has long been ABC—“Always Be Closing.” The three chapters of Part Two introduce the new ABCs—Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity.

Chapter 4 is about “attunement”—bringing oneself into harmony with individuals, groups, and contexts. I draw on a rich reservoir of research to show you the three rules of attunement—and why extraverts rarely make the best salespeople.

Chapter 5 covers “buoyancy”—a quality that combines grittiness of spirit and sunniness of outlook. In any effort to move others, we confront what one veteran salesman calls an “ocean of rejection.” You’ll learn from a band of life insurance salespeople and some of the world’s premier social scientists what to do before, during, and after your sales encounters to remain afloat. And you’ll see why actually believing in what you’re selling has become essential on sales’ new terrain.

In Chapter 6, I discuss “clarity”—the capacity to make sense of murky situations. It’s long been held that top salespeople—whether in traditional sales or non-sales selling—are deft at problem solving. Here I will show that what matters more today is problem finding. One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have. Here you’ll also learn about the craft of curation—along with some shrewd ways to frame your curatorial choices.

Once the ABCs of Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity have taught you how to be, we move to Part Three, which describes what to do—the abilities that matter most.

We begin in Chapter 7 with “pitch.” For as long as buildings have had elevators, enterprising individuals have crafted elevator pitches. But today, when attention spans have dwindled (and all the people in the elevator are looking at their phones), that technique has become outdated. In this chapter, you’ll discover the six successors of the elevator pitch and how and when to deploy them.

Chapter 8, “Improvise,” covers what to do when your perfectly attuned, appropriately buoyant, ultra-clear pitches inevitably go awry. You’ll meet a veteran improv artist and see why understanding the rules of improvisational theater can deepen your persuasive powers.

Finally comes Chapter 9, “Serve.” Here you’ll learn the two principles that are essential if sales or non-sales selling are to have any meaning: Make it personal and make it purposeful.

To help you put these ideas into action, at the end of each chapter in Parts Two and Three you’ll find dozens of smart techniques assembled from fresh research and best practices around the world. I call these collections of tools and tips, assessments and exercises, checklists and reading recommendations “Sample Cases,” in homage to the traveling salesmen who once toted bags bulging with their wares from town to town. By the end of this book, I hope, you will become more effective at moving others.

But equally important, I hope you’ll see the very act of selling in a new light. Selling, I’ve grown to understand, is more urgent, more important, and, in its own sweet way, more beautiful than we realize. The ability to move others to exchange what they have for what we have is crucial to our survival and our happiness. It has helped our species evolve, lifted our living standards, and enhanced our daily lives. The capacity to sell isn’t some unnatural adaptation to the merciless world of commerce. It is part of who we are. As you’re about to see, if I’ve moved you to turn the page, selling is fundamentally human.

Norman Hall shouldn’t exist. But here he is—flesh, blood, and bow tie—on a Tuesday afternoon, sitting in a downtown San Francisco law office explaining to two attorneys why they could really use a few things to spruce up their place.

With a magician’s flourish, Hall begins by removing from his bag what looks like a black wand. He snaps his wrist and—voilà!—out bursts a plume of dark feathers. And not just any feathers, he reveals.

“These are . . . Male. Ostrich. Feathers.”

This $21.99 feather duster is the best on the market, he tells them in a soft-spoken but sonorous voice. It’s perfect for cleaning picture frames, blinds, and any other item whose crevices accumulate dust.

Penelope Chronis, who runs the small immigration firm with her partner in law and in life, Elizabeth Kreher, peers up from her desk and shakes her head. Not interested.

Hall shows her Kitchen Brush #300, a sturdy white and green scrub brush.

They already have one.

Onto Chronis’s desk he tosses some “microfiber cloths” and an “anti-fog cloth for car windows and bathroom mirrors.”

No thanks.

Hall is seventy-five years old with patches of white hair on the sides of his head and not much in between. He sports conservative eyeglasses and a mustache in which the white hairs have finally overtaken the brown ones after what looks like years of struggle. He wears dark brown pants, a dress shirt with thin blue stripes, a chestnut-colored V-neck sweater, and a red paisley bow tie. He looks like a dapper and mildly eccentric professor. He is indefatigable.

On his lap is a leather three-ring binder with about two dozen pages of product pictures he’s clipped and inserted into clear plastic sheets. “This is a straightforward spot remover,” he tells Chronis and Kreher when he gets to the laundry page. “These you spray on before throwing something into the washing machine.” The lawyers are unmoved. So Hall goes big: moth deodorant blocks. “I sell more of these than anything in my catalog combined,” he says. “They kill moths, mold, mildew, and odor.” Only $7.49.

Nope.

Then, turning the page to a collection of toilet brushes and bowl cleaners, he smiles, pauses for a perfect beat, and says, “And these are my romantic items.”

Still nothing.

But when he gets to the stainless-steel sponges, he elicits a crackle of interest that soon becomes a ripple of desire. “These are wonderful, very unusual. They’re scrubber pads, but with a great difference,” he says. Each offers eight thousand inches of continuous stainless steel coiled forty thousand times. You can stick them in the dishwasher. A box of three is just $15.

Sold.

Soon he reaches one of his pricier products, an electrostatic carpet sweeper. “It has four terminal brushes made out of natural bristle and nylon. As it goes along the floor, it develops a static current so it can pick up sugar and salt from a bare wood floor,” he explains. “It’s my favorite wedding gift.” Another exquisitely timed pause. “It beats the hell out of a toaster.”

Chronis and Kreher go for that, too.

When about twenty minutes have elapsed, and Hall has reached the final sheet in his homemade catalog, he scribbles the $149.96 sale in his order book. He hands a carbon copy of the order to Chronis, saying, “I hope we’re still friends after you read this.”

He chats for a few moments, then gathers his binder and his bags, and rises to leave. “Thank you very much indeed,” he says. “I’ll bring everything forthwith tomorrow.”

Norman Hall is a Fuller Brush salesman. And not just any Fuller Brush salesman.

He is . . . The. Last. One.

If you’re younger than forty or never spent much time in the United States, you might not recognize the Fuller Brush Man. But if you’re an American of a certain age, you know that once you couldn’t avoid him. Brigades of salesmen, their sample cases stuffed with brushes, roamed middle-class neighborhoods, climbed the front steps, and announced, “I’m your Fuller Brush Man.” Then, offering a free vegetable scrubber known as a Handy Brush as a gift, they tried to get what quickly became known as “a foot in the door.”

It all began in 1903, when an eighteen-year-old Nova Scotia farm boy named Alfred Fuller arrived in Boston to begin his career. He was, by his own admission, “a country bumpkin, overgrown and awkward, unsophisticated and virtually unschooled”1—and he was promptly fired from his first three jobs. But one of his brothers landed him a sales position at the Somerville Brush and Mop Company—and days before he turned twenty, young Alfred found his calling. “I began without much preparation and I had no special qualifications, as far as I knew,” he told a journalist years later, “but I discovered I could sell those brushes.”2

After a year of trudging door-to-door peddling Somerville products, Fuller began, er, bristling at working for someone else. So he set up a small workshop to manufacture brushes of his own. At night, he oversaw the mini-factory. By day he walked the streets selling what he’d produced. To his amazement, the small enterprise grew. When he needed a few more salespeople to expand to additional products and new territories, he placed an ad in a publication called Everybody’s Magazine. Within a few weeks, the Nova Scotia bumpkin had 260 new salespeople, a nationwide business, and the makings of a cultural icon.

By the late 1930s, Fuller’s sales force had swelled to more than five thousand people. In 1937 alone, door-to-door Fuller dealers gave away some 12.5 million Handy Brushes. By 1948, eighty-three hundred North American salesmen were selling cleaning and hair “brushes to 20 million families in the United States and Canada,” according to The New Yorker. That same year, Fuller salesmen, all of them independent dealers working on straight commission, made nearly fifty million house-to-house sales calls in the United States—a country that at the time had fewer than forty-three million households. By the early 1960s, Fuller Brush was, in today’s dollars, a billion-dollar company.3

What’s more, the Fuller Man became a fixture in popular culture—Lady Gagaesque in his ubiquity. In the Disney animated version of “The Three Little Pigs,” which won an Academy Award in 1933, how did the Big Bad Wolf try to gain entry into the pigs’ houses? He disguised himself as a Fuller Brush Man. How did Donald Duck earn his living for a while? He sold Fuller Brushes. In 1948 Red Skelton, then one of Hollywood’s biggest names, starred in The Fuller Brush Man, a screwball comedy in which a hapless salesman is framed for a crime—and must clear his name, find the culprit, win the girl, and sell a few Venetian blind brushes along the way. Just two years later, Hollywood made essentially the same movie with the same plot—this one called The Fuller Brush Girl, with the lead role going to Lucille Ball, an even bigger star. As time went on, you could find the Fuller Brush Man not only on your doorstep, but also in New Yorker cartoons, the jokes of TV talk-show hosts, and the lyrics of Dolly Parton songs.

What a Fuller Man did was virtuosic. “The Fuller art of opening doors was regarded by connoisseurs of cold-turkey peddling in somewhat the same way that balletomanes esteem a performance of the Bolshoi—as pure poetry,” American Heritage wrote. “In the hands of a deft Fuller dealer, brushes became not homely commodities but specialized tools obtainable nowhere else.”4 Yet he* was also virtuous, his constant presence in neighborhoods turning him neighborly. “Fuller Brush Men pulled teeth, massaged headaches, delivered babies, gave emetics for poison, prevented suicides, discovered murders, helped arrange funerals, and drove patients to hospitals.”5

And then, with the suddenness of an unexpected knock on the door, the Fuller Brush Man—the very embodiment of twentieth-century selling—practically disappeared. Think about it. Wherever in the world you live, when was the last time a salesperson with a sample case rang your doorbell? In February 2012, the Fuller Brush Company filed for reorganization under the U.S. bankruptcy law’s Chapter 11. But what surprised people most wasn’t so much that Fuller had declared bankruptcy, but that it was still around to declare anything.

Norman Hall, however, remains at it. In the mornings, he boards an early bus near his home in Rohnert Park, California, and rides ninety minutes to downtown San Francisco. He begins his rounds at about 9:30 A.M. and walks five to six miles each day, up and down the sharply inclined streets of San Francisco. “Believe me,” he said during one of the days I accompanied him, “I know all the level areas and the best bathrooms.”

When Hall began in the 1970s, several dozen other Fuller Brush Men were also working in San Francisco. Over time, that number dwindled. And now Hall is the only one who remains. These days when he encounters a new customer and identifies himself as a Fuller Man, he’s often met with surprise. “No kidding!” people will say. One afternoon when I was with him, Hall introduced himself to the fifty-something head of maintenance at a clothing store. “Really?” the man cried. “My father was a Fuller Brush salesman in Oklahoma!” (Alas, this prospect didn’t buy anything, even though Hall pointed out that the mop propped in the corner of the store came from Fuller.)

After forty years, Hall has a garage full of Fuller items, but his connection to the struggling parent company is minimal. He’s on his own. In recent years, he’s seen his customers fade, his orders decline, and his profits shrink. People don’t have time for a salesman. They want to order things online. And besides, brushes? Who cares? As an accommodation to reality, Hall has cut back the time he devotes to chasing customers. He now spends only two days a week toting his leather binder through San Francisco’s retail and business district. And when he unloads his last boar bristle brush and hangs up his bow tie, he knows he won’t be replaced. “I don’t think people want to do this kind of work anymore,” he told me.

Two months after Fuller’s bankruptcy announcement, Encyclopædia Britannica, which rose to prominence because of its door-to-door salesmen, shut down production of its print books. A month later, Avon—whose salesladies once pressed doorbells from Birmingham to Bangkok—fired its CEO and sought survival in the arms of a corporate suitor. These collapses seemed less startling than inevitable, the final movement in the chorus of doom that, for many years, has been forecasting selling’s demise.

The song, almost always invoking Arthur Miller’s 1949 play Death of a Salesman, goes something like this: In a world where anybody can find anything with just a few keystrokes, intermediaries like salespeople are superfluous. They merely muck up the gears of commerce and make transactions slower and more expensive. Individual consumers can do their own research and get buying advice from their social networks. Large companies can streamline their procurement processes with sophisticated software that pits vendors against one another and secures the lowest price. In the same way that cash machines thinned the ranks of bank tellers and digital switches made telephone operators all but obsolete, today’s technologies have rendered salesmen and saleswomen irrelevant. As we rely ever more on websites and smartphones to locate and purchase what we need, salespeople themselves—not to mention the very act of selling—will be swept into history’s dustbin.6

Norman Hall is, no doubt, the last of his kind. And the Fuller Brush Company itself could be gone for good before you reach the last page of this book. But we should hold off making any wider funeral preparations. All those death notices for sales and those who do it are off the mark. Indeed, if one were to write anything about selling in the second decade of the twenty-first century, it ought to be a birth announcement.

Rebirth of a Salesman (and Saleswoman)

Deep inside a thick semiannual report from the Occupational Employment Statistics program of the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics lurks a surprising, and surprisingly significant, piece of data: One out of every nine American workers works in sales.

Each day more than fifteen million people earn their keep by trying to convince someone else to make a purchase.7 They are real estate brokers, industrial sales representatives, and securities dealers. They sell planes to airlines, trains to city governments, and automobiles to prospective drivers at more than ten thousand dealerships across the country. Some work in posh offices with glorious views, others in dreary cubicles with Dilbert cartoons and a free calendar. But they all sell—from multimillion-dollar consulting agreements to ten-dollar magazine subscriptions and everything in between.

Consider: The United States manufacturing economy, still the largest in the world, cranks out nearly $2 trillion worth of goods each year. But the United States has far more salespeople than factory workers. Americans love complaining about bloated governments—but America’s sales force outnumbers the entire federal workforce by more than 5 to 1. The U.S. private sector employs three times as many salespeople as all fifty state governments combined employ people. If the nation’s salespeople lived in a single state, that state would be the fifth-largest in the United States.8

The presence of so many salespeople in the planet’s largest economy seems peculiar given the two seismic economic events of the last decade—the implosion of the global financial system and the explosion of widespread Internet connectivity. To be sure, sales, like almost every other type of work, was caught in the downdraft of the Great Recession. Between 2006 and 2010, some 1.1 million U.S. sales jobs disappeared. Yet even after the worst downturn in a half-century, sales remains the second-largest occupational category (behind office and administration workers) in the American workforce, just as it has been for decades. What’s more, the Bureau of Labor Statistics projects that the United States will add nearly two million new sales jobs by 2020. Likewise, the Internet has not had nearly the effect on sales that many predicted. Between 2000 and today, the very period that broadband, smartphones, and e-commerce ascended to disintermediate salespeople and obviate the need for selling, the total number of sales jobs increased and the portion of the U.S. workforce in sales has remained exactly the same: 1 in 9.9

What holds for the United States holds equally for the rest of the world. For example, in Canada, “sales and service occupations”—a broader category than the United States uses—constitute slightly more than 25 percent of the Canadian workforce. Australian Bureau of Statistics census data show that about 10 percent of Australia’s labor force falls under the heading “sales workers.” In the United Kingdom, which uses yet another set of occupation categories, adding up the jobs that involve selling (for example, “sales accounts and business development managers” and “vehicle and parts salespersons or advisers” and so on) totals about three million workers out of a workforce of roughly thirty million—or again, about 1 in 10. In the entire European Union, the figure is slightly higher.10 According to the most recent available data along with calculations by officials at Eurostat, the EU’s statistical agency, about 13 percent of the region’s more than two-hundred-million-person labor force works in sales.11

Meanwhile, Japan employed nearly 8.6 million “sales workers” in 2010, the last year for which data are available. With almost 63 million people in the total workforce, that means more than 1 out of 8 workers in the world’s third-largest economy is in sales.12 For India and China, larger countries but less developed markets, data are harder to come by. Their portion of salespeople is likely smaller relative to North America, Europe, and Japan, in part because a large proportion of people in these countries still work in agriculture.13 But as India and China grow wealthier, and hundreds of millions more of their citizens join the middle class, the need for salespeople will inevitably expand. To cite just one example, McKinsey & Company projects that India’s growing pharmaceutical industry will triple its cadre of drug representatives to 300,000 employees by 2020.14

Taken together, the data show that rather than decline in relevance and size, sales has remained a stalwart part of labor markets around the world. Even as advanced economies have transformed—from hard goods and heavy lifting to skilled services and conceptual thinking—the need for salespeople has not abated.

But that’s merely the beginning of the story.

The Rise of Non-Sales Selling

The men and women who operate the world’s statistical agencies are among the unsung heroes of the modern economy. Each day they gather bushels of data, which they scrutinize, analyze, and transform into reports that help the rest of us understand what’s going on in our industries, our job markets, and our lives. Yet these dedicated public servants are also limited—by budgets, by politics, and, most of all, by the very questions they ask.

So while the idea that 1 in 9 American workers sells for a living might surprise you, I wondered whether it masked a still more intriguing truth. For instance, I’m not a “sales worker” in the categorical sense. Yet, as I wrote in the Introduction, when I sat down to deconstruct my own workdays, I discovered that I spend a sizable portion of them selling in a broader sense—persuading, influencing, and convincing others. And I’m not special. Physicians sell patients on a remedy. Lawyers sell juries on a verdict. Teachers sell students on the value of paying attention in class. Entrepreneurs woo funders, writers sweet-talk producers, coaches cajole players. Whatever our profession, we deliver presentations to fellow employees and make pitches to new clients. We try to convince the boss to loosen up a few dollars from the budget or the human resources department to add more vacation days.

Yet none of this activity ever shows up in the data tables.

The same goes for what transpires on the other side of the ever murkier border between work and life. Many of us now devote a portion of our spare time to selling—whether it’s handmade crafts on Etsy, heartfelt causes on DonorsChoose, or harebrained schemes on Kickstarter. And in astonishing numbers and with ferocious energy, we now go online to sell ourselves—on Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, and Match.com profiles. (Remember: None of the six entities I just mentioned existed ten years ago.)

The conventional view of economic behavior is that the two most important activities are producing and consuming. But today, much of what we do also seems to involve moving. That is, we’re moving other people to part with resources—whether something tangible like cash or intangible like effort or attention—so that we both get what we want. Trouble is, there are no data to either confirm or refute this suspicion—because it involves questions that no statistical agency is asking.

So I set out to fill the void. Working with Qualtrics, a fast-growing research and data analytics company, I commissioned a survey to try to uncover how much time and energy people are devoting to moving others, including what we can think of as non-sales selling—selling that doesn’t involve anyone making a purchase.

This study, dubbed the What Do You Do at Work? survey, was a comprehensive undertaking. Using some sophisticated research tools, we gathered data from 9,057 respondents around the world. Statisticians at Qualtrics reviewed the responses, disregarded invalid or incomplete surveys, and assessed the sample size and composition to see how well it reflected the population. Because the number of non-U.S. respondents turned out not to be large enough to draw statistically sound conclusions, I’ve limited much of the analysis to an adjusted sample of more than seven thousand adult full-time workers in the United States. The results have statistical validity similar to those of the surveys conducted by the major opinion research firms that you might read about during election seasons. (For example, Gallup’s tracking polls typically sample about 1,000 respondents.)15

Two main findings emerged:


   • People are now spending about 40 percent of their time at work engaged in non-sales selling—persuading, influencing, and convincing others in ways that don’t involve anyone making a purchase. Across a range of professions, we are devoting roughly twenty-four minutes of every hour to moving others.
   • People consider this aspect of their work crucial to their professional success—even in excess of the considerable amount of time they devote to it.*

Here’s a bit more detail about what we found and how we found it:

I began by asking respondents to think about their last two weeks of work and what they did for their largest blocks of time. Big surprise: Reading and responding to e-mail topped the list—followed by having face-to-face conversations and attending meetings.

We then asked people to think a bit more deeply about the actual content of those experiences. I presented a series of choices and asked them, “Regardless of whether you were using e-mail, phone, or face-to-face conversations, how much time did you devote to” each of the following: “processing information,” “selling a product or a service,” and other activities? Respondents reported spending the most time “processing information.” But close behind were three activities at the heart of non-sales selling. Nearly 37 percent of respondents said they devoted a significant amount of time to “teaching, coaching, or instructing others.” Thirty-nine percent said the same about “serving clients or customers.” And nearly 70 percent reported that they spent at least some of their time “persuading or convincing others.” What’s more, non-sales selling turned out to be far more prevalent than selling in the traditional sense. When we asked how much time they put in “selling a product or service,” about half of respondents said “no time at all.”

Later in the survey was another question designed to probe for similar information and to assess the validity of the earlier query. This one gave respondents a “slider” that sat at 0 on a 100-point scale, which they could push to the right to indicate a percentage. We asked: “What percentage of your work involves convincing or persuading people to give up something they value for something you have?”

The average reply among all respondents: 41 percent. This average came about in an interesting way. A large cluster of respondents reported numbers in the 15 to 20 percent range, while a smaller but significant cluster reported numbers in the 70 to 80 percent range. In other words, many people are spending a decent amount of time trying to move others—but for some, moving others is the mainstay of their jobs. Most of us are movers; some of us are super-movers.

Most helpful customer reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
love love love!
By T Rizzle
This was my first Daniel Pink book (I also own "Drive," but haven't read it yet), and I was extremely impressed/satisfied with it.

Awesome sales book. I especially liked how he spent the first third of the book talking about how pretty much everyone in the world today is in some form of selling. You might not see yourself as a "traditional salesman," but whatever you're line of work is, your survival/success will depend on how well you can "move people" (i.e. get them to part with their resources, such as time/money/energy, in exchange for some value you can provide to them).

I'm following this book up with "Instant Influence" by Pantalon, which Pink references and recommends as additional reading in this book.

Disclosure: I've read most of the classic books like Influence by Cialdini, How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling by Bettger, Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff, etc. and still found this one to be extremely helpful.

The measure of any book is the value you can get out of it - i.e. what can you apply to your life/goal from the author's work/recommendations. I definitely found quite a few ideas that I could apply to a venture I'll be undertaking in the very near future (fundraising for a new hedge fund).

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Great book for Pastors & Communicators
By Joshua Reich
Let me be honest, I love the work of Daniel Pink. This book is not exception.

Pink starts out by telling us how his book is for more than just salesman. The reality though, is that everyone is in sales. You may not make cold calls or get people to buy things, but you are seeking to motivate people everyday. Whether that is a boss, a child, a spouse or a friend.

For leaders, this concept is enormous, but it is even more important for pastors. Every week, when a pastor preaches, they are seeking to move people. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, they seek to help people move from where they are to their next step with God. This takes motivation. According to Pink, this takes sales. While pastors will bristle at this idea, it is also true. Call it motivation or sales, it is the same thing. According to Pink, "The average person spends 40% of their life trying to move others. We're persuading, convincing, and influencing others to give up something they've got in exchange for what we've got."

One of the problems Pink points out that we have when it comes to communicating is that we don't help people identify the correct problem. This is huge for preaching, helping people see what they could fix. Pastors often answer questions people aren't asking, and therefore don't move the people they are preaching to.

Another takeaway for me as a preacher is helping people to see what a truth could look like in their life 5 years from now. I've started to say in sermons, "Imagine what your life would be like if you believed ____________." People are often unmoved, not because they don't understand something, but because they can't see the benefit or goodness of something.

Here are a few things that jumped out:

-One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have.
-To sell well is to convince someone else to part with resources--not to deprive that person, but to leave him better off in the end.
-The correlation between extraversion and sales was essentially nonexistent.
-You have to believe in the product you're selling--and that has to show.
-Once positive emotions outnumbered negative emotions by 3 to 1--that is, for every three instances of feeling gratitude, interest, or contentment, they experienced only one instance of anger, guilt, or embarrassment--people generally flourished.
-Next time you're getting ready to persuade others, reconsider how you prepare. Instead of pumping yourself up with declarations and affirmations, take a page from Bob the Builder and pose a question instead. Ask yourself: "Can I move these people?" As social scientists have discovered, interrogative self-talk is often more valuable than the declarative kind. But don't simply leave the question hanging in the air like a lost balloon. Answer it--directly and in writing. List five specific reasons why the answer to your question is yes.
-The problem we have saving for retirement, these studies showed, isn't only our meager ability to weigh present rewards against future ones. It is also the connection--or rather, the disconnection--between our present and future selves.
-The third quality necessary in moving others today: clarity--the capacity to help others see their situations in fresh and more revealing ways and to identify problems they didn't realize they had.
-We often understand something better when we see it in comparison with something else than when we see it in isolation.
-So if you're selling a car, go easy on emphasizing the rich Corinthian leather on the seats. Instead, point out what the car will allow the buyer to do--see new places, visit old friends, and add to a book of memories.
-Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.
-The purpose of a pitch isn't necessarily to move others immediately to adopt your idea. The purpose is to offer something so compelling that it begins a conversation, brings the other person in as a participant, and eventually arrives at an outcome that appeals to both of you.
-Questions can outperform statements in persuading others.

Overall, a worthwhile book for leaders or preachers.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
We're all salespeople now!
By Dave Kinnear
There are many volumes written about sales. There are myriad training courses on sales and how to be efficient, effective and top of the heap at the game of sales. This book is not like any of the ones I have read prior to this nor is Pink espousing any of the usual hype about overcoming objections, how to close and/or how to manipulate folks into buying your product or services.
Instead, Pink is proposing something that I have been struggling with for the past five years and suggesting to anyone who would listen: traditional sales isn't any longer anyone's job. It's everyone's job because sales has fundamentally changed. Pink states that "Most of what we think we understand about selling is constructed atop a foundation of assumptions that has crumbled." He further states that sales has changed more in the past 10 years than it had in the previous 100 years.

Pink replaces the old standard ABC rule in sales; "Always Be Closing" with a new ABCs-- Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity. He proceeds to explain what he means by each in the following chapters of the book. Briefly, attunement is bringing oneself into harmony with individuals, groups and contexts. Buoyancy is the quality that combines grittiness of spirit and the sunniness of outlook. It's what allows salespeople to overcome the "ocean of rejection" they face every day and still function. Clarity is the capacity to make sense of complex situations, that gray area we all try to avoid. Salespeople become problem finders rather than problem solvers.

To Sell is Human is broken into three parts: Part 1 is Rebirth of a Salesman, Part 2 is How to Be and Part 3 is What to Do. He develops a new category he introduces as "non-sales selling" where we (all of us not in the traditional sales position) are "persuading, convincing, and influencing others to give up something they've got in exchange for what we've got." i One of the more important changes that Pink underscores is that the salesperson is no longer needed as a curator of information. Sellers are able, if they so choose, to be as well informed about the products and services as the salesperson. He coins the phrase caveat venditor - seller beware.

At the end of each chapter in parts 2 and 3 are dozens of techniques assembled from fresh research and best practices around the world. Pink maintains that the ability to move others to exchange what they have for what we have is a crucial ability that is required for our survival and wellbeing. The capacity to "sell" isn't some unnatural adaptation to the merciless world of commerce. It is a part of who we are.

On a personal note, I found this book to be both refreshing and humorous. Refreshing because Pink gave me a way to think about and express what I have been seeing and talking about for a long time now. Specifically that sell is a four-letter-word. More and more people are turned off by traditional sales (even the so-called "consultative selling" is now seen as manipulative.) And I found the book humorous because I found that I was laughing at myself. Pink introduces us to Norman Hall. Hall is shadowed as he goes through his usual (and traditional in many ways) sales job in San Francisco. Hall is the very last Fuller Brush Salesman. Why that made me laugh is because I am old enough that I brush my hair almost every morning with a Fuller Brush that my mother gave to me one Christmas when I was a young teenager. I have been using it ever since. I remember the Fuller Brush man (and yes, they were all men as far as I know) ringing our doorbell and brining new products into the house for my parents to purchase. By the way, what product do you still use that was purchased more than 50 years ago?

Since I spent many years as a professional salesperson, the passing of the traditional sales model is, for me, more disturbing than the passing of our usual business models or the accelerating obsolescence of products. There is no going back though, and those who work in the sales function would do well to read Pink's view on how things have changed. For those of us not in a direct sales function would do well to understand that fundamentally we are all selling in one way or another. Indeed, to sell is human.

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“This book is packed with really wonderful mind sets, reframes, and psychology tips, all backed with references and real science. This is like the “best of the best” self help tips.” ~ Tim Brennan, Author of '1001 Chess Tactics'

“…incredibly useful book filled with scientifically backed advice on how to successfully reach your goals.” ~ Ryan Berd


HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK DIFFERENTLY
Why is it that some people are able to achieve so much success - in their personal, professional, social lives - whereas so many others are struggling?

What are successful people doing differently from the failures?

Are successful people wired differently from the rest of us? Is success simply encoded in their DNA?

Or is it something else?

And the more important question is: How can we get access to the magic ingredient that successful people have and add it to our own lives so that we too may experience more success in our lives?


LEARN HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK DIFFERENTLY - AND HOW YOU CAN TOO
This short and practical guide will inspire you to rethink how you set and achieve your goals.
In How Successful People Think Differently you will learn:

•Why successful people say “I don’t” instead of “I can’t”

•Why successful people never suppress their desires - and what they do instead

•How successful people think smart

•The “if-then” strategy that triples your chances of achieving success

•The type of thinking that makes successful people successful in the first place

•The wrong (and the right) way to visualize your goals (this alone will be worth the price of the book!)

•The right (and the wrong) type of thinking that either sets up you up for success or failure

•Simple, and sometimes surprising, success principles to help you achieve your goals

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BASED ON INTENSIVE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH: LEARN THE SCIENCE OF SUCCESS
In the last 100 years, science has made remarkable progress in unlocking the secrets behind successful people.

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Fortunately, I’ve gone through that research for you - and in this success guide, you’re going to be getting access to life-changing tools and strategies that are scientifically-proven to help you achieve your personal and career goals, whatever they may be.


JUST ONE IDEA...
Just one idea in this book might be the inspiration and the spark of change you are looking for...just one idea can change your life.


RAVE REVIEWS FROM READERS:
“How Successful People Think Differently is a quick, easy read packed with practical tips and easy-to-follow advice...This book is for anyone who wants to aim higher.” ~ Gillian Findlay

"Illustrated by many examples from real life and generously filled with scientific references and suggestions for further reading, this book is a ‘must have’ for anyone who wishes to better themselves in life.” John Joyce, Author of “Masterpiece”

“I was pleasantly surprised that I learned new tips from this book. It gave me great ideas on how to think differently and put tips into place to change habits and create a more successful life.” ~ Stacy Nichols

“This is a good book for many people who are still clinging to the fence, procrastinating and not achieving their goals. I highly recommend it!” ~ Allan Kaufman, DTM, MBA

“Just when I thought I knew about everything, along comes this book. It is a great non fiction book filled with many useful tips…” ~ William Leland

  • Sales Rank: #939481 in Books
  • Published on: 2015-01-10
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.00" h x .27" w x 5.25" l, .28 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 106 pages

About the Author
Akash Karia is a professional speaker who has trained thousands of people worldwide, from bankers in Hong Kong to yoga teachers in Thailand to senior executives in Dubai. He is an award-winning trainer who has been ranked as one of the Top 10 Speakers in Asia-Pacific. He is currently the Chief Commercial Officer of a multi-million dollar company in Tanzania, in which capacity he heads the sales, relations and marketing departments of the organization. "Akash is THE best coach I've ever had!" ~ Eric Laughton, Certified John Maxwell Trainer, United States Akash writes books on public speaking and success, sharing proven tools and techniques to help people achieve peak performance. What separates him from other authors is that his books are based on hundreds of hours of intensive scientific research. All these tools are delivered in a simple, easy-to-read, step-by-step format that you can implement immediately. "If you want to learn presentation skills, public speaking or just simply uncover excellence hidden inside of you or your teams, Akash Karia is the coach to go to." ~ Raju Mandhyan, Organizational Strategist, Philippines If you'd like Akash to speak at your next event or to train your employees, you can contact him through his website: http://www.AkashKaria.com "A rare talent who has much in store for you as an individual, and better yet, your organization as a whole." ~ Sherilyn Pang, Writer at Malaysia SME, Malaysia

Most helpful customer reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent, practical guide
By Gillian Findlay
How Successful People Think Differently is a quick, easy read packed with practical tips and easy-to-follow advice. There are a few things which stand out in particular:
- You are likely to finish the book. It is short and punchy - it won't lie around unread, like other self-help books often do.
- You are likely to follow the advice. It is presented in an accessible format, with very clear, practical ways in which to excel.
- You are likely to see results - the ultimate aim of the book.
This book is for anyone who wants to aim higher.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Another Akash Karia Book to be Studied
By Allan Kaufman
"How Successful People Think Differently" is a fast read on how to become successful by thinking as successful people think, by setting goals, by writing goals down, by sharing them and by setting realistic daily goals. He talks about overcoming temptations and replacing negative habits. Learn about "if then" thinking. Akash Karia not only writes in an easy to understand style, but he also backs up his information with links to academic studies. This is a good book for many people who are still clinging to the fence, procrastinating and not achieving their goals. I highly recommend it. This is another demonstration by Akash that you can set goals and achieve them. Just look at how many great books he is writing at an alarming pace. Akash, you are my inspiration.

Allan Kaufman, DTM, MBA
Author of No Sweat Speaking's Guide to Roasting & Toasting

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
I'll be referring this to my coaching clients
By GreenWeddingRings
Useful and succinct. What a great combination.
Simple mindset "hacks" to get out of struggle with yourself and into alignment.

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Architectural Structures, by J. Wayne Place

A highly illustrative structural design resource for architects and builders

Architectural Structures provides the critical tools and know-how to design and build structures that will withstand wind, earthquakes, and other forces. This major survey of structural design is a useful guide to the fundamentals of establishing the structural concept for a building and dealing with structural issues.

Using diagrams, models, computer simulations, case studies, and exercises, Architectural Structures provides a comprehensive narrative that makes selecting and giving shape to structures and structural elements understandable. In addition to developing the necessary vocabulary to effectively work with structural engineers, it helps readers gain a common-sense understanding of principles and issues, the complexities of the design process, and useful analytic methods. This exceptional volume also features:
* Diagrams, drawings, and photographs supporting complex concepts
* Helpful case studies illustrating structural behavior and the design of structural systems
* Information on cost estimation and other practical issues
* Real-world problems and solutions based on actual building structures

  • Sales Rank: #1549307 in Books
  • Published on: 2007-03-16
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 11.30" h x 1.42" w x 8.70" l, 3.76 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 640 pages

From the Back Cover
A highly illustrative structural design resource for architects and builders

Architectural Structures provides the critical tools and know-how to design and build structures that will withstand wind, earthquakes, and other forces. This major survey of structural design is a useful guide to the fundamentals of establishing the structural concept for a building and dealing with structural issues.

Using diagrams, models, computer simulations, case studies, and exercises, Architectural Structures provides a comprehensive narrative that makes selecting and giving shape to structures and structural elements understandable. In addition to developing the necessary vocabulary to effectively work with structural engineers, it helps readers gain a common-sense understanding of principles and issues, the complexities of the design process, and useful analytic methods. This exceptional volume also features:

  • Diagrams, drawings, and photographs supporting complex concepts
  • Helpful case studies illustrating structural behavior and the design of structural systems
  • Information on cost estimation and other practical issues
  • Real-world problems and solutions based on actual building structures

About the Author
Wayne Place is a professor of architecture at North Carolina State University. He has a PhD in physics, a master's degree in architecture, and is a registered professional engineer in California and North Carolina. In addition to teaching structures for twenty years, he was principal investigator for eight years at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory of the University of California.

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Minggu, 19 September 2010

[X417.Ebook] Get Free Ebook The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.

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The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.

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The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? If so, this workbook is for you.

Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? Do you have a rich inner life and intense dreams? Did parents or teachers call you "too shy" or "too sensitive"? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

High sensitivity is a trait shared by 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist and workshop leader and the bestselling author of The Highly Sensitive Person. The enormous response to her book led Dr. Aron to create The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, designed to honor that long-ignored, trampled-on part of yourself--your sensitivity. A collection of exercises and activities for both individuals and groups, this workbook will help you identify the HSP trait in yourself, nurture the new, positive self-image you deserve, and create a fuller, richer life. You will be able to:

Identify your specific sensitivities with self-assessment tests
Reframe past experiences in a more positive light
Interpret dreams and relate them to your sensitivity
Cope with overarousal through relaxation, breathing, and visualization techniques
Describe your trait in a work interview or to an unsympathetic family member, new friend, doctor, or therapist

  • Sales Rank: #9787 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Harmony
  • Published on: 1999-06-08
  • Released on: 1999-06-08
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.10" h x .80" w x 7.00" l, 1.17 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 336 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

Amazon.com Review
Can 1.2 billion exceptionally nervous nervous systems be wrong? No way, says depth psychologist Elaine Aron, bestselling author of The Highly Sensitive Person. An HSP herself, Aron is also the reigning expert on the subject, and this workbook exists to make you a more helpful expert on yourself. It can be read in conjunction with her more narrative book--the chapter headings match--or without it. "You should use this workbook in any way you darn well please," says Aron in a typical free-yourself comment.

So what is an HSP? Aron thinks one-fifth of humanity is born with more finely tuned perceptions than the rest. In primitive times, HSPs were the first to spot the lion lurking in the bush, the last to shoot the arrow--and the likeliest to hit the lion in one shot. Later, HSPs became the tempering priestly advisors to the more aggressive warrior kings. To be an HSP is a challenge and an opportunity, she argues. This book contains self-tests to determine whether you're an HSP, and if so, which kind: introverted, extroverted, sensation seeking, and other plausible categories. Some HSPs yearn for "earlids" to shut out sound, for instance. There are plenty of blanks to fill in as you analyze your childhood, health concerns, work history, and psychic wounds, with plenty of guidance on how to do it--sample entries as intriguing as someone else's diary. If you've ever wished you could go back and retort to somebody who said something hurtful that made you speechless, Aron has the exercise to channel your resentment into insight. She gives a quick course in dream analysis (Freud couldn't outdo her job on a dream about The A-Team's Mr. T and a tiger), and rather boldly invites you to envision and prepare for your death. There's also a practical guide to setting up HSP discussion groups with enough structure to prevent fizzle and poor focus.

Review
"People who want to modify their behavioral styles have to go beyond mere reflection and making resolutions to actually engaging in a set of activities that focus them in new, productive, creative directions.  Aron's workbook does just that through her many tasks, guidelines, and action paths for sensitive people. Get it and do it!"
--Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., author of Shyness

"Highly sensitive people often need help with two goals: developing a deep sense of self-acceptance and becoming more confident in their relationships with other people.  Elaine Aron's enormously helpful new workbook offers a sympathetic and effective program for highly sensitive people to make real progress in pursuit of their goals."
--Jonathan Cheek, Ph.D., author of Conquering Shyness

From the Inside Flap
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? If so, this workbook is for you.
Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? Do you have a rich inner life and intense dreams? Did parents or teachers call you "too shy" or "too sensitive"? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
High sensitivity is a trait shared by 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist and workshop leader and the bestselling author of The Highly Sensitive Person. The enormous response to her book led Dr. Aron to create The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, designed to honor that long-ignored, trampled-on part of yourself--your sensitivity. A collection of exercises and activities for both individuals and groups, this workbook will help you identify the HSP trait in yourself, nurture the new, positive self-image you deserve, and create a fuller, richer life. You will be able to:
Identify your specific sensitivities with self-assessment tests
Reframe past experiences in a more positive light
Interpret dreams and relate them to your sensitivity
Cope with overarousal through relaxation, breathing, and visualization techniques
Describe your trait in a work interview or to an unsympathetic family member, new friend, doctor, or therapist

Most helpful customer reviews

58 of 61 people found the following review helpful.
This book Changed My Life
By Morgine
I bought this book after seeing the movie, "Sensitives: The Untold Story! " Changing my entire life!

Things I have been attempting to change my entire life were just NORMAL attributes of an HSP!! I cannot thank Elaine enough for writing this book and for the documentary made with a Kick Start campaign! I took her test on line at her site... highly sensitive person test, and answered yes to all the questions! I cover up most lights on my computer, printer, router and such. I have no sounds except the error sound on my computer. Never could watch violent movies, sensitive to bright lights, strong smells, loud sounds. Can feel everyone when walking into a room. If you "think" you might be one, it could change your life reading this book! I think you only need to answer yes to about 14 of the many questions.

I totally understood why my parents treated me the way they did. I was overly sensitive to so many things and they did not know what to do about it! They did not know "why"! Same with friends and teachers and my sister!

I am a CHANGED person and I Highly Recommend this book to Everyone! Why? Because you might have a friend, partner, child who is highly sensitive and knowing how to treat them, can change both your relationships. It turns out not only are 15 - 20% of humans highly sensitive, so are animals and insects in the same percentages! It is a Natural Trait and not an illness or disease. Scientists can see it in brain scans and DNA testing. We have been misdiagnosed for decades as being shy, withdrawn, depressed and so on, which is not true. I love, love, loved this book!

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
This may be the best book I have read in years
By A. Biggs
This may be the best book I have read in years. Maybe a decade. I was a year and a half into a very stressful job with a bully boss when I found this book -- I'd heard about it for years but thought the title sounded girlie and wimpy so I hesitated to read it. I don't like gooey, emotional, sappy stuff. Well guess what... no sap here. Or at least so little sap that a person who doesn't like sappy didn't really notice. Instead I found a smart, astute, science-based book which explained to me why I was slowly dying at my job, why I could not sleep at night, and why I was so stressed at work that I literally could not stomach my sandwich at lunch but would almost throw it up every day (but I could eat at home) -- I was operating at a level of physical stress which was impossible for a highly sensitive person to sustain, and yet I was somehow sustaining it. (I am very stubborn.) Once I actually looked at myself, looked at my actual situation, stopped blaming myself for being "weak" and "broken" and "not tough enough" and stopped trying to be what I am not, I saw clearly that I was ignoring my physical body's symptoms of extreme stress and hurting myself bad. Reading this was a wake up call at a time in my life when I really needed it, and gave me enough confidence to finally stand up to my impossible to please, bullying, manipulative boss and just quit. I am going back to school and retraining to become a software developer so that I can work in an environment that won't kill me. Not everyone is the same; everyone has different physical tolerances. If you find yourself "too sensitive" etc, give yourself a break. You are not a clone of the extrovert next to you. Pay attention to your body and read this book. IF YOU ARE AN EXTROVERT, PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. If you are NOT highly sensitive, please read this book!!! I wish to God every human being would read this book so people could finally start understanding each other, and society in general would stop hurting those among them who are not built with the same nervous system that the 80% majority of humanity has!!!! This has nothing to do with race boundaries, religion, nationality... this is all about pure genetics and how our species (in fact how over 100 species on this planet) function. It's ground breaking work.

29 of 31 people found the following review helpful.
MUST READ!!! If you have a traumatic experience that you're holding onto then it's time to read this book!
By Renae
Wow… This book was INCREDIBLE!!!! I'm still trying to take in everything that is brought to the front of my mind that I never realized or even thought about until I read this book. I don't think this is just for sensitive people but for everyone. If anyone has dealt with any kind of trauma in their lives or as a child that causes you to be an internal person than I think this book is for you. It will help you start to realize that you keep yourself in a protective shell inside your body because that's where you feel most comfortable. This book will help you realize what you've done to allow yourself to stay there and not become the person that you truly were meant to be. It's time to start dealing with your past once and for all and move PAST it… Letting anything control who you are and what you do isn't good. There is more happiness in your life than you could ever imagine.. Again this is a MUST READ.

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[V952.Ebook] Download Ebook Romance: California Dreams (Second Chances Trilogy Book 2), by Morris Fenris

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Romance: California Dreams (Second Chances Trilogy Book 2), by Morris Fenris

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Romance: California Dreams (Second Chances Trilogy Book 2), by Morris Fenris

What happens when you have two widows, two men, one precocious four-year old, and a life-threatening disease? Dreams come true.

After Jane’s husband was killed in action, she let her dreams of becoming a famous chef, living by the ocean and having a family of her own, die with him. Now that she’s been given a second chance, will she realize all of her dreams, or play it safe?

When Grace’s husband was killed in action, she got the surprise of her life – a baby girl, Daniella. With her daughter’s life hanging in the balance, will she take a leap of faith and realize the resurrection of her dreams, or play it safe?

Follow Jane and Grace as they realize that true love can come around twice, you just have to be willing to take a chance on your lost dreams.

California Dreams is the second book in the Second Chances Trilogy by author Morris Fenris.

*****

A summary of reader reviews of ‘Romance: California Dreams’:

"…if you like romance, free romance, romance novels, Christian Romance, you should like this book…"

"…this romance book has Christian love suspense, true love story, miracle of love…”

"…romance suspense about family magic, family relationships and leap of love…”

"…this romance mystery is a charmer of a Christian love story and romance series."

"..a great Christian romance mystery, Christian romance suspense, family life and family secrets novel.."

"..characters and storyline are amazing in this contemporary Christian romance fiction..."

"..love and loyalty and family affair adds spice to this Christian Romance fiction…”

“..loved this romance collections, romantic suspense and love blossoms book..”

“..cute Christmas romance love story...”

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“…one of the best romance books I have read in a long time…”

  • Sales Rank: #15979 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2014-08-08
  • Released on: 2014-08-08
  • Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
An enjoyable story
By DMO
I will assume you have read the description of the storyline provided. This is a clean Christian romance. The Christian thread in this book is very light. A couple of mentions of finding a home church and a mention of prayer in a time of crisis. The characters have moral ideals in lifestyle also. This book follows the previous book smoothly, pulling in the characters and adding a few more. It will help to understand this one if have read the first but it is not absolutely necessary. Rather than focusing on a particular couple it uses a four year old girl as a sort of central pivot in which the other characters are all connected to her in some form. There are a few grammatical errors and at times it stretches the limits of believability but the story is engaging. I won't be adding this to my reread list but I am glad I read it.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Contemporary romance about new beginnings
By Kitty Smith
A charming, contemporary romance about two lovely widows who get a second chance at love long after they've give up on such things. I'm a sucker for stories about new beginnings and the leap of love these two ladies take makes for a Kleenex worthy story.

I did not realize this was Christian fiction when I downloaded it, but it isn't preachy like I expected religious and inspirational fiction would be. Instead it's just a good story all around, with mystery and suspense, romance, and great characters to keep you engaged all the way through.

This is the second book in the Second Chances Trilogy, and I think it's even better than the first one, Sara in Montana!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Good clean romance
By Blue Girl
Good clean romance with some suspense in it. Was getting a little bit tired of 4 year old Dani pouting and getting her way! Will look forward to more by this author.

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